How not to make a French Market Bag

crochetyblog
Dec 6, 2021
2 min read

What's cute, effortless, and filled with baguettes?

Apart from inexplicably cheerful stock photo people

French.

Market.

Bags.

Every time I see one of these bags, I fall in love. Deep, abiding, one-sided love.

I can just see myself trotting around town, effortlessly carrying the fresh ingredients I'll soon be cooking.

Conveniently forgetting that I basically buy three bags of Doritos and a pack of salami every week.

I decided to make a French Market Bag and start living my fantasy.

Attempt one: Meet Squidward

In the first attempt, I decided to go freehand.

He's beauty and he's grace, he's clearly been homemade

Pros:

Technically, he's a bag.
The handles are extremely long and super stretchy, so it's easy to accidentally hit people you don't like.

Cons:

The handles are extremely long and super stretchy.
So is the bag himself.
He's a lovely subtle shade of neon pink. The pictures don't do him justice. He matches everything.

It actually doesn't look too heinous from the front view, but something strange happened on the sides that I honestly can't explain.

No idea what happened here. It's like a pseudo-turtleneck.

Attempt two: Long-arm Lenny (LAL)

I actually followed a pattern for this, but very loosely.

I've also brought this guy to the beach a few times, so he's seen better days

Pros:

He turned out better than the last one. No offence to Squidward.

Cons:

Almost anything would be better than the last one.
He looks very home made.
People have complimented on this (?!) but I'm pretty sure they're just being nice.

But by far, the biggest con is what happened to the handles:

They just keep going...

This is how long the handles stretch with nothing in the bag. If I carry anything in Lenny, I have to tie the handle in a knot so he doesn't take me out at the knees.

Attempt three: Marie Antoinette

I finally gave in and reluctantly followed a pattern for real this time.

Check out Two of Wands' fantastic free pattern for a French Market Bag here.

Weirdly, I did actually have half a baguette kicking around for this picture

Pros:

She's recognizable as a French Market Bag.
She's a sturdy lady.
This bag holds a lot. I mean, way more than you would guess. It's stretchy in a good way, unlike my last two bags.

Cons:

The sides are very open. Makes sense if you're buying a baguette every week; makes less sense if you live in Canada and do not eat a daily loaf of bread.

Any pattern with a lot of chain stitches should generally be blocked after you finish, which I definitely didn't bother to do. So the net bits of Marie Antoinette look a little squished when she's laid out flat. This isn't a pattern flaw, this is me being lazy.